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sitting here at my desk, plugging away at old blog entries what needed postin’ and being grateful to be doing anything but the documentation data entry that i oughta be doing, i can’t help but feel like my whole time in india was a big, long dream.  i think i felt the same way when i left england, but i’m pretty sure i felt it a little less acutely, since life in england, unlike life in india, is really much the same as life in america–just with funny money and better accents.  

it’s a dream that started as a nightmare in an airport, drifted into the pleasantness of new friends and good company, moved through a series of beautiful births both fast and slow, was punctuated by a million sights, sounds, and smells of fast life in an asian city, and finally set me bolt-upright awake when, on my going-home-day, the big red bus slammed into our scooter, sending priyanka and i screeching forward (and our hearts plummeting into our asses).

when people ask me what i loved the most, i find myself gravitating toward two answers:  the gals of birthvillage, and every bite of food i had the whole time i was there (save perhaps for the street food that contributed to around 5 weeks of the runs when i first got to cochin).  i met so many of the most amazing women at birthvillage–both the staff and the moms-to-be who graced our doorstep.  priyanka, with her tireless passion and devotion to the women of india and the ovaries of steel needed to go up against a patriarchy that makes ours in the west look like small potatoes; bincy, who kept our office running and rode her two-wheeler to our rescue in the night whenever a client needed an iv; smija,whose smile and sense of humor were a rock through the harder times, and rima chechi, who kept us all fed and slept on the floor when the hot water was out at a birth so we’d have pots of boiling water womanned in the kitchen when needed; ro, whose style, fashion sense, and connections got the mommas of birthvillage up onto the fashion runway and into the papers; and red, who, though i only spent the briefest of time with her, let me peek into the exciting life of a world-travelling midwife.  these gals, plus my preceptor, fellow traveler, cyclist extraordinaire, and sister adventure goddess donna, were what really made the trip for me.

and the mommas.  i’ve never seen to much determination in my life, nor have i seen women so willing to follow their instincts in the face of so much family and societal opposition.  we had first time mommas who knew that they wanted to birth more like their grandmothers than their mothers, second time mommas whose core beings recoiled at the idea of having a repeat of the hospital experience (it makes birth in a US hospital look like a cake walk, y’all), mommas whose families hated that they were birthing out of a hospital, didn’t understand it, or who hadn’t even been told about it until after the fact, mommas who trusted their bodies implicitly, and some who learned that trust during labor, mommas who found a connection with their partners that they’d never before known, mommas who needed all the help and support we had to give, sometimes for days on end, mommas who found healing during their births and some who needed healing after a birth that didn’t go as planned,  

witnessing birth in india really cemented for me, more than anything else, the ways in which we as women are so very much the same, no matter the place, no matter the culture.  we all seem to have the same hopes and fears, even though the framework around us may press and pull in different ways based on our different cultures.

women are strong and determined, and all over this earth, they’re waking up to new ways of taking charge of their health–and it’s beautiful, y’all.

although i suppose it pales in comparison, the food is the other big thing i’ll miss.  everyone asks me if i learned to cook while over there.  the answer, sadly, is no.  i didn’t really learn how to cook indian food because the indian food i had was cooked for me by someone who would have been too embarrassed by the “impropriety” of my asking to being her student.  that plus the language barrier.  i *did* however, eat so much of it that i’ve learned just what everything should taste like, what goes with what, and what’s eaten when.  i feel like i could pick up a south indian cookbook and become a pro in no time 🙂

i miss idlies with sambar and coconut chutney for breakfast the most.  hard-core miss it. 

when i first came back, i didn’t want indian food for a long time–i was more interested in re-experiencing my old faves (or vegetarian versions thereof) like mexican food, sandwiches, berries, and greens of all persuasions.  i was roundly disappointed by american fruit, especially after living in a country where the mangoes were as sweet as candy and almost spreadably soft (a woody, tasteless, crunchy mess here!). i can’t smell an american pineapple across a crowded room, and a tetrapak isn’t as nice a drinking vessel as a green coconut, but i do the best i can.  i find myself really itching for some curry these days–that needs to be remedied soon, and i hope i’m not disappointed! 🙂

even thought the fruit here sucks, i’ve had a wonderful time re-remembering the things about maine that i love.  i DO NOT DO NOT miss the indian heat.  as i gaze out my second story office window here at the birth center, i’m struck by the degree to which i simply love cold, snowy weather.  i admit it’s quite the challenge when on call (is there a snow ban tonight?  where will i park my car?  will i be able to dig out and make it to the birth center in time??) but the absolute loveliness of maine winters is particularly breathtaking to me.  yesterday, amidst a pretty hefty snowfall, i decided to take a hike through town to the local coffee shop, and i was reminded of the singular serenity that accompanies falling snow.  the world slows down (yes, even up here in maine), woodstoves and furnaces crank up, and locals gather in those warm and toasty places that offer a haven from the harsh elements.  walking though serious snow was something that i only first did when i went to england for school in 2004, so crunchcrunching down white sidewalks of a snow-muffled town brings back so many memories, both joyous and sad, of that incredibly formative time in my life.

it’s also been SO good to be back with stephen.  all my life, i’ve been a lone adventuress, but that’s much harder to do when you’re partnered.  a pal who’s a military wife gave me the great idea of leaving stephen a note for every day that i would be gone.  i’m so glad i did, especially since communication was less than easy, being as i was in country with blackouts, shoddy internet service, and pricey international long distance fees.  each note was a memory, sweet sentiment, or nagging reminder, and it had an accompanying illustration (i realized about halfway through the project just how many drawings that was!).  it’s fun now to go back and look through them, and it will be something we can keep and enjoy forever.  though there’s much more adventure yet to come in my life, i’m pretty sure that either it won’t be for 5 months or it will include winning the lottery and dragging stephen with me!     

so now here i sit, back in maine, back with my sweethaht and my family, remembering fondly those months of great adventure.  i’m currently serving as the intern midwife at the birth center that’s attached to my midwifery school, and i’m one of the folks up for a pretty neat position as administrative director of a certain midwifery association (finger’s crossed, no pressure!).  it’s been a really great month of abundance for me, and for that, i’m incredibly thankful.  we found a wonderful place back in naples (two bedrooms and a million closets!), my job here offers me both an internship stipend and the opportunity to patch together more pay through tutoring and assisting faculty members, plus i’m still connected to usm and une for pelvic modeling, plus i still teach english at ua.  so it’s not a predictable paycheck, but it’s a pretty effin’ abundant patchwork at the moment.

happy times. much more to say, but my fingers are about to fall off, so i’ll say it latah!

it’s good to be back, y’all!

to be continued…. 

nagaaaaarjunaaaaaaa!

(a late posting of a journal i kept of events from early december 2013)

thus beginneth my mini adventure into the world of ayurveda:

this morning at 7:15, i took a bus from vytilla junction (a bus! by myself! see how brave i am now! ok, fine, it was an air-conditioned bus, but it *was* standing room only lol) to the airport for a car pick-up from the ayurvedic center where i’m staying. needless to say, chaos ensued when my version of “at the main entrance” and the driver’s version of “at the main entrance” in no way resembled one another (there were four entrances, and unfortunately i chose the passenger pick up and he chose the airport bus stop–all was fixed by a 10 rupee phone call from the mobile phone at an airport tchotchke shop). once he’d found me (he, by the way, was the indian doppelganger for my friend patrick scarborough—uncanny!) we made the short trip to kalady, where nagarjuna ayurvedic center is located.

let me preface this by saying i have *absolutely no idea* what i’m getting myself into. i’ve heard rumors, but this will be an adventure.

when we arrived at nagarjuna, which is tucked far, far away from the road at the back of a peaceful little jungle neighborhood (yay for no horns honking and no deisel fumes!) i was greeted with smiles and with a jasmine necklace (a lei? what do they call them here?) my bags were taken to my room and i was shown immediately to breakfast–idlies, curry, coconut chutney, herbal water (hot water that tastes of black pepper–very nice actually!), and tea with milk. since i got to the center a little late, i was the only one eating, which was nice because it meant the kitchen staff came out to talk to me and introduce themselves.

after breakfast, i finished checking in at reception, filled out paperwork, and headed to my room. and what a nice place!! there’s a king sized bed (hello, starfish sleeping!), tv (that won’t get any use), writing desk, private bathroom, pitcher/thermos thingy that’s always kept full of “herbal water”, laundry hamper (yes, they do your clothes), a porch with table and chairs, and an AIR CONDITIONERRRRRR!! i am in heaven.

after hanging out in my room for just a minute, someone showed up to escort me for my intake with the doctor. the guy (who looked strangely like my dad) took my medical history (is there a history of heart disease in your family? do you have at least one “soft and satisfying” bowel movement every day?), talked a little bit to me about ayurveda, and lamented the fact that i would only be here for 4 days. 21 is optimal apparently. too bad i don’t poop soft and satisfying piles of money.

his assessment based on my history was that my metabolism was low (umm, yes) and that while 4 days wasn’t enough time to really work on a detox, i would have a nice relaxing rejuvenation. sold!

i headed back to my room (with yet another smiling and enthusiastic escort–how many people work here??) to wait to be called for my morning treatment–a full body ayurvedic massage. very thankfully, i’d done one of these before in cochin, so i was fully ready for the paper-panty-wearing-naked-in-front-of-strange-women thing (see my previous blog on ayurveda). the massage was so great. i plopped (almost) naked as a jay bird onto the padded table, and the doctor, assistant, and two masseuses told me that first, before treatments, they pray. all of them directed their gaze toward a hindu altar, stood press-palmed, and sang a prayer in stunning harmony. then the massage began.

ayurvedic massages start with the recipient sitting up. oils are applied (herbally medicated according to the person’s special needs) and rubbed in, and then you lay down on the table. both masseuses work in tandem with equal strokes and equal pressure, and boy they grease you up like a pig. front gets massaged (aaaahhh! strangers touching my boobs!), then you switch to the side, then the back, then the other side, then your head and face, and then you finish sitting up. this was about an hour and a half of oily, herbal-y bliss. i was very thankful i managed not to slide off the bed throughout the various and sundry flip flops i had to perform while greased up.

my feet were wiped (as well as feet covered in castor oil can be), and i was taken to the bathroom to drink the water from a fresh-cut coconut and de-grease myself. i was given a bowl of green gram (mung bean) paste to use first for the washing (odd but effectively exfoliating—i smelled like raw beans), and then an ayurvedic bar of soap to finish with. i’ve decided just to leave my hair all greased-up for the duration since i’ll be getting treatments twice a day.

after my massage, i headed to lunch where i met an indian family who used to live in georgia (small world). they marveled at the fact that i ate with my hands like an indian, and we talked about our lives and families (i got to hear an awful lot about what goes into setting up an arranged marriage–fascinating and terrifying). right now, i’m back in my room waiting for afternoon treatments and trying desperately not to fall asleep (no sleeping in the daytime, sayeth the health plan here!). i think after that massage and lunch i could sleep for about 12 hours.

impressions so far: grounds are beautiful, staff are so incredibly friendly and treat you like royalty (which is both nice and odd), and i do indeed need to come back for 21 days some time in the future!

updates later today when/if the crazy shit starts…

……………………..

so looks like no crazy shit today 🙂 just got back from my afternoon session, which was shirodara (a treatment that i described earlier in a blog). i can’t decide what i think of shirodara–part of me finds it incredibly relaxing and the other part is bored to tears. i’m thinking that second part just shows me how much i need to spend more time calming my mind with meditation.

all in all, an incredibly beautiful experience. i lay there on the table (fully clothed, yay!) with a cotton keep-oil-outta-yer-face band around my forehead and cotton wool over my eyes, tracing with my mind’s eye the back-and-forth, back-and-forth motion of the running oil across my brow and down through my hair. about halfway through, there was a huge crack of thunder–the power went out and the sky opened up, pouring buckets through the trees outside. i was vaguely aware of the outage since there was less light shining through my eye-mask, but the light soon returned as someone opened a door to the outside so the therapist could see. a wonderfully warm and hypnotic stream of oil–rumbles of thunder and rain sounds pouring in the door–fabulous!. the therapist sighed several times–probably making grocery lists in her mind as i tried to clear mine 🙂

tea just came via room service (going to miss high tea when i come back to the states) along with a small glass wine goblet filled with a dark liquid that smells pungently of vinegar and herbs and leaves particulate…stuff…on the glass when tilted to the side. there’s a note on the top that says “abby luca, take at 6pm”. it’s only 3:30, and i think the suspense may kill me. i just know this “medicine” is going to be a fantastic shade of tuuruuible.

we shall see!

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4:30 pm update–not sure what’s in this “herbal water” but, full disclosure, i’ve pooped twice in the past 3 hours hahaha. also, still resisting the urge to taste the medicine, though i did hold it up to the light for closer examination. it’s nearly opaque and swamp water gray. goody!

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6:00 pm update–HWWWWAAA. bleeeeeeeeh. BBBBWWWAAA. YEEErrrrrk. coughcough. (in a breathless voice) smooth!

like watery, bitter barbeque sauce—that gives you the hiccupburps for 15 minutes.

charming! too bad it’s a whole hour until dinner.

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6:28 pm update–just had a new present delivered. another glass goblet-o-fun (this time, light brown) labeled “bedtime.” it actually smells worse than the last one lol

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8:01pm update–dinner was tasty…all the kerala food that i’ve come to love…though it wasn’t to the delight of the four women at my table from berlin who all looked at me either askance or in amusement as i ate with my hands. what a bunch of noobs.

the pre-dinner medicine was especially terrible–like metalic, powdered hay juice with a pervasive grassy-sour aftertaste. and again with the hiccupburps. washing it down with more herbal water as we speak.

got my schedule for tomorrow. i don’t see anything that looks like puking or enemas, so maybe it will all just be fun stuff 🙂 my internet is out (probably for the best) so i’m calling it a night quite early. yaaaaaaaaaaawn

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day 2

6:45am–very glad i went to bed early because i just got a wake-up call from the guy coming around with more insulated pitchers of the peppery herbal water. breakfast isn’t until 8, and i can’t shower until after my 11:30 treatment, so maybe i’ll go for a walk. everybody here is greasy-headed, so at least i know i won’t look a fool.

8:19am update–beautiful walk through a neighborhood with large, spaceously-landed houses, past morning-misty banana groves and alongside children dressed to go to school. the lady in the flat next to mine here at nagarjuna was doing laundry as i left—they offer a laundry service here on site, but i guess if you’re staying for a long time, like most everybody but me here is, its much more cost effective just to bucket wash and line dry.

breakfast was nice–puttu and chickpea curry with white pumpkin juice and tea. meals seem to be, in proportion, about half as much as i would serve myself. i’m counting this as a good thing. i shared the table with two indian women and an indian man (“poor dear, you’re only here for FOUR DAYS!?” gasp! lol). on the way back from breakfast, the sweepers were out performing their sisyphean morning task of leaf removal. since it’s always a combination of the seasons here, leaves are constantly growing and falling and regrowing. we got a big rain yesterday, as we do most afternoons, and the leaves that were brought down are swept away to keep the place looking tidy (a tidy jungle…who knew?). women painstakingly sweep the gravel paths with bundles of twigs, carrying away their piles of leaves, and others use the same type of broom to sweep all other leaves on the grounds into neat piles around the trees. the result is very aesthetically pleasing i guess, but what a never-ending task! seems like something andrew marvel might have written a poem on…

9:40am update–reading “journeys to sacred india” and chugging more water. i think i understand my friend lauren romero’s obsession with drinking hot water.

10:11am update–BLAAAAAGH more vile gray bitter barbecue sauce medicine. dying to know what’s in this! every time i have medicine now i think of priyanka’s voice (“just drink it and be quiet, you!”)

10:49am update–a flurry of people (good thing i’m used to india’s aversion to privacy!). first a maid to clean and pick up the laundry, then the morning paper delivery, then some sort of manager and two staff members who came to ask if everything was to my liking or if i needed anything (nope, just internet. apparently the lightning strike yesterday blew the internet connection), and then a doctor making daily rounds (yes, i’m pooping tons, yes i like the food, yes i feel good, woohoo i have perfect blood pressure today!). leaving in 40 minutes for my morning treatment–some sort of oil massage followed by a massage with warm herbal rice packs. or something 🙂

1:23pm update–just got back from lunch–another thali-style kerala meal. yum! before that was a full body oil massage followed by a massage/scrub/pleasant pummelling with rice and herb filled packs dipped in hot oil (fave thing so far). i pretty much felt like jello by the end of the hour. the women were chattering at the end in malayalam, and then, decidedly, one of them asked me how old i was. i said 31. they looked amazed and said how they’d just been saying my face looked like an 8-year old child’s. umm, thanks? i think? not sure about that one lol. after my post-oiling bean scrub, i attempted to wash my hair, but this oil is so thick that i think it’s more of the wash-rinse-repeat-repeat-repeat kind of thing. oh well–no one here knows me and we all look like oily idiots together. MUST come back for the 21 day treatment–feeling so good! in the mean time, waiting on my 2pm treatment and cringing at the thought of my 6pm medicine lol.

3:03pm update—just got back from my afternoon treatment. more shirodara–was hoping for something new, but it was still nice. the practitioner in me wants to ask so many questions about all of these treatments–what are the herbs? what is the theory? why do you rub brown powder on the part of my hair after a massage lol–(and if i had internet connectivity i would look them up) but i’m trying to be content to experience now and learn later. also wondering if *such* vigorous head massage and towel drying is damaging my hair lol. here’s hoping not, since the water in india has already made about 30% of it fall out (a common problem for travelers, so i read).

as far as killing time goes, the internet is still down, so i did it the old fashioned way and read the paper (yuck). donna made the kochi insert with a pic from her recent cyclethon, which was fun, but i was disappointed there were no classifieds in this paper for some reason. in a country where 80% of marriages are arranged, the personals are a HOOT to read 🙂

dinner is at 8 (indians be eatin’ late, y’all) and i’ll get my schedule for tomorrow then. it’s all been spa nicey-nice until now, but here’s hoping for new flavors of tortureveda tomorrow 🙂 all things being equal, herbal oil enemas (one would assume) make for better blogging than headrubs.

4:10pm update–some interesting things seen on my afternoon walk: banana grove, jackfruit trees with hanging fruit the size of large watermelons, and a little memorial to one of the founders of nagarjuna. his plaque said he was born in 1954 and died in 1999. if i were putting that in my health facility, i might be sure to specify on the plaque that the death at age 45 was a horrendous accident, totally unnatural causes, decades too soon, being, as he was, the very picture of health lol

8:02pm update–went for yoga today. the class was held on the rooftop of one of the buildings here–very lovely–the sun was starting to set and there was a beautiful view of the periyar river. i was reminded how long it had been since my last yoga class, and i bumbled through the moves while the others, who knew the routine well, had smooth sailing from posture to posture. there was one jackass who spent the whole class doing ungodly stretches and complicated poses that had nothing to do with the class. showoff. the teacher was a nice man indian man in his 50’s, dressed in a striped shirt and slacks–not at all a lululemon yogi. he had a soothing voice and a great approach to teaching yoga. made all those blonde-bimbo-in-a-mic-headset-student-recreation-center yoga classes look like cheap imitation crap. what teens do in hundred dollar see-through pants in the states because it’s trendy, folks do here in everyday clothes on rooftops because its how they get close to god. at the end of our class, the teacher sang a long sandskrit chant. i swear to god he somehow managed to vocalize the om at the end as a fucking chord. totally awesome.

dinner was good–more of the same, but i was disappointed in my schedule for tomorrow. same as today (massage and oil drip). i think because i’m here for such a short time, i’m not going to get any of the actual detox treatments, just the froufrou ones. bit of a let down. on the bright side, i, unlike my fellow patients at dinner tonight, will not be taking castor oil and herbs (and nothing else) as my food tomorrow. hooray for no stomach ache and explosive, purgative diarrhea!

day 3

7:46am update–woke up sore and very hungry. the combination of yoga and vigorous repetitive massage means that all my parts hurt. should be interesting at massage this morning (my cries of “pleeeease don’t touch my sternum” will be met with sympathetic smiles and plenty of sternum-mashing massage lol). as far as the hunger goes, the food portions are very, very small–makes me wish i was here for a month so i could lose some real weight. on the bright side though, i only have two more day without coffee!!

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12:37pm update–lovely walk this morning. i tried, to no avail, to find a place with river access, but i did have a nice meander through the local neighborhood. i passed a temple, hindu music blaring from 4-way loudspeakers (i heard this place waaaay before i saw it), the scent of incense lingering in the air, and local folks coming in bare-headed and leaving with their foreheads dotted and smeared accordingly. for the devout, temple seems to be a short, every morning affair.

it was also almost time for school, so i saw plenty of kids. they waved, smiled, and called to me from bus windows (much nicer than in the US where you’re more liable to get the finger from a schoolbus window), and two little guys on foot asked enthusiastically for me to take a photo of them. one of them even asked for a second photo on my way back 🙂

breakfast (pre-walk) was good–idiappam–though i could have eaten more for sure, and my treatment was once again the fantastic oil massage/bundle pummeling thing. i asked the doc on her morning rounds if i would have any variation in my treatment before i leave–she said it would be more of the same. apparently when it comes to ayurvedic detox, you shouldn’t start what you can’t finish, so due to my short time here, it’s just the nicey-nice treatments for me. oh well…i’ll be back!

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2:08pm update–shirodara again this afternoon. that definitely takes me to some wacky, meditative, semi-sleeping places 🙂 now for a nap (shhh don’t tell–we’re not supposed to sleep during the day here) and then high tea, an indian philosophy class, another walk, and dinner. with the requisite horrible medicines interspersed throughout of course lol

oh yeah! i got my laundry back and i have missed having fresh-out-of-the-dryer clothes so much!! everything is soft, and warm, and back to its original size 🙂

6:24pm update–the medicine doesn’t get any easier to take. gag!

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day 4

last night i had crazy dreams about plane crashes, i think because this place is right by the airport and there are low-flying planes crossing overhead every 30 minutes or so. it was strange. the first one was a water landing, and the inside of the plane looked like the 2-tier sleeper car of an indian train. at first, i hopped out the door onto dry land (which had mysteriously appeared), but then i remembered the words that, oddly enough, i’d heard on a discovery channel program earlier in the night–it had been a program about chinese history, and they’d quoted confucious as saying “he who knows the right thing and does not act lacks courage.” so i went back in and started rescuing people. shouldn’t i get some karmic points for using chinese philosophy to determine my actions in my dreams? lol

after my less than restful sleep, i was awoken, as i usually am, by the man who brings the carafes of fresh herbal water to all of the rooms. 6:45 on the dot every day. then came another small (but wonderful) doze, breakfast, and my morning walk. i think the people in this neighborhood must be wondering why this oily-headed white woman keeps walking by twice a day. in the mornings, many women are out in their yards, sweeping away the leaves with stick brooms. i hear the sweeping as i approach, the sweeping stops as i walk by and they stand to stare and wonder, and then the sweeping sound resumes once i’ve passed. like clockwork.

treatments today are the same, and my morning massage happens in about 30 minutes. such a shame i have to leave tomorrow.

hoping everyone at birthvillage doesn’t think i’m dead–four days later and still no internet here at nagarjuna.

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11:32M update–just had my last pozzikidhi–sad that i can’t keep getting these fantastic massages every morning. i also had a final meeting with the head doctor here (i somehow lost 1.2 kilos in 3 days!). we discussed some ayurvedic medicines that i can keep taking to help my body support a healthy metabolism. he also said i could buy 3 months worth for the low-low price of 2,500 rupees. you bet buddy. i told him i’d take the prescription and get the medicines on my own–no way it should cost that much.

now for some quiet meditation time, then lunch and more shirodhara.

2:45pm update–did i tell you i love lunch here? it’s the biggest meal 🙂 sure am missing coffee and chocolate though!

6:27pm update–shirodara was great as usual (hooray for not having to wear paper ayur-panties!). it was sad having my last treatment. i had the same attendants for this one as for my first one (as well as the lady who told me i was beautiful and had the face of an 8-year old lol). they wished me a safe journey with smiles and hugs, and one put a hand to my belly and asked that i be blessed with ayurveda babies 🙂 we shall see!

i’ve tried to call donna a couple of times with no answer, so hopefully she doesn’t think i’m dead of a horrible oil enema accident lol. we’re supposed to be having our belated american thanksgiving meal tomorrow (should be interesting coming off of eating so little food here) and i’ve got to figure out when and where i need to meet them. *sometimes* life is indeed easier with a cell phone. i’d be fine if i just had internet, but alas, the lightning saw to it that i stay unplugged for the duration.

so i have dinner in half an hour (then more terrible medicine) and will hopefully be turning in early as i have an early ride to catch tomorrow to the airport. they told me that a car would take me to vytilla junction for 1100 rupees, but i think a 50 rupee bus ride is more my speed.

all in all, i’ve had a great time. the grounds here at nagarjuna are lovely, the people are incredibly personable and friendly, every single need is seen to meticulously, the treatments are wonderful, and it really presents an effective atmosphere for healing. meals are personalized based on everyone’s needs and there’s nothing else available to tempt you, medicines are brought to your door every day at the time you’re supposed to take them, and staff members come to escort you to your treatments and doctor visits. everyone here seems to know exactly where you’re supposed to be at any moment and what your treatment entails. they know your name, and they smile at you and talk to you when they see you. you can’t help but be healthy. also the early wake up call and admonition not to sleep during the day (coupled with the happenstance of no internet access) meant that every night’s sleep was a good night’s sleep. hooray for rejuvenation!

i can’t wait to come back. how about after i take the narm exam? how about for 21 days? who wants to come with me???

to be continued…

quite the jaunt

(from the long weekend around november 23rd, 2013)

i’m finally oooooooffffff caaaaaaaallllllll! woohoo! because one of our mommas went right smack dab at 36 weeks (term here in india), i basically have the rest of the time that i’m here off call. donna and i decided to celebrate with a little trip south to trivandrum and varkala beach, and since my camera broke on the first day (i feel like somebody cut off my arm), you’ll have to make do with a story.

donna is a cyclist, and one of the groups that she’s a part of decided to have a ride from trivandrum up the coast to varkala beach. the ride started around 9:30am, so we were shooting to be in trivandrum (about a four-and-a-half hour train ride away) by 7:30 or so. because work and life never stop here in india, there were plenty of trains to choose from, even at the weird hour we’d be leaving. we decided on taking the 2:40am train from ernakulam junction to trivandrum, and since it was night time (and we’re still wimps about trying general class seats) we went for the 2-tier air conditioned sleeper car–basically the best that regular, non-rich-and-famous train travel has to offer.

so on friday night, after a full day of appointments and work, we packed and tried to get a little rest before the journey. joseph, our auto driver extraordinaire, picked us up from birthvillage around 1:30am saturday morning to take us to the train station–an exciting and mildly terrifying first, as neither of us has taken a (notorious) indian train before. it’s always odd zipping through the streets of cochin in the wee hours of the morning–a rare glimpse at a usually packed city completely devoid of traffic and people, besides the odd auto stand, which, for some reason, are still lined with drivers even at crazy hours of the morning. street dogs laze around on empty spots of pavement, trying to soak up some of the night time cool, and here and there you might see a man wandering around smoking a cigarette, something few dare to do in public during the day. its also one of the only times of the day that the air is relatively breathable, when the diesel fumes are swept away by the night sea air….coughcough.

the train station was an interesting site. it wasn’t crowded with too much foot traffic, being as it was 1:45 am, but the waiting area was full to the brim in some places with rows and rows of sleeping people–all on mats or sheets, heads propped on bent arms or bags, sound asleep on the hard pavement. i’m not sure if these people were coming or going, or why they were all sleeping here, but it was an interesting site to behold. there were children, adults, and the elderly–women in saris, men in work clothes or mundas. i wondered if these people had to do this dance every day. probably.

the station was remarkably clean (hear that united states? train stations can be clean!) sans the rats that were scurrying overhead across the metalwork that supported the platform ceiling. best just not to look.

we wound up getting there way too early (better than late, eh?), so we grabbed a seat on platform 1 to people watch and wait for the train. some interesting things we saw:

TONS of police, everywhere, all in smart khaki uniforms with blue tams and smug looks on their faces. several of them were carrying sticks on little leather straps–these were used to prod awake people sleeping too close to the tracks or those who were in the way when a train was coming in to the station. one of them, an older, pot-bellied man who looked like he hadn’t smiled in a decade, like his face might creak like old leather if he tried, approached us and asked where we were going. “trivandrum” we said. “bag,” he barked, pointing with his stick to the seat next to donna. she moved her bag and then, despite the million other free seats, he wedged himself into the seat next to her. we tried to contain our laughter at his grim and proper demeanor and insistence that he sit next to us. maybe he thought he’d keep people from messing with the two foreign ladies–who knows. he only popped up later when another of his police buddies came by. they were then off to join the other gaggle of police officers. much straight-faced saluting and heel-clicking ensued. sometimes, in spite of itself, india is so painfully british.

after the police came the pilgrims. not sure where they were going or why, but the station was slowly filling with a trickle of men in black mundas with black and gold checked fabric draped over their shoulders. most wore bead necklaces and ornate forehead markings, and they carried little with them. it seemed like good fodder for a chaucer story… and palmeres for to seken straunge strondes, to ferne halwe coothe in soundry….kochi? i’m sure some were there out of devotion, some were there to spend time with friends, and some were there just to get away from the hum drum of life for a while—yeah, chaucer would have loved that…

then came the biggest, most overblown display of male puffery i’ve ever seen. a man, most likely a high-ranking politician or diplomat of some kind (you can always tell because of the white dress and ridiculous entourage) entered the train station enclosed by a phalanx of perhaps 15 of the khaki police, followed by some other sort of uniformed folk, followed by poor schmucks carrying baggage. the look on this guy’s face–you’da thought he thought he shat pure gold. he strolled through the station holding up the corner of his munda like a debutante holding the hem of her dress at the ball. he was hot shit. they led him through the rabble and the piles of sleeping pleebs and into a private waiting room (hoh-hoh-HOH!)

our train finally pulled into the station at around 2:35. as the cars passed, we eyeballed the print on each, trying to find our car: 1A. we followed 1A until the train stopped so we could be first on, as one of our tickets left something to be desired. when donna went to the station earlier on friday, she’d been able to purchase only one ticket. the other was a will-call wait-list dealie. no seat number attached, just a “come and see what you can get!”. uhg. so we boarded 1A with our ticket and pseudo ticket.

MAN, what a tight fit. the train car was divided into two sides: on one side, there was a lower berth, with windows, that folded up into two facing seats, and on the other, there were little compartments of four beds (two upper and two lower) that faced each other. since most everything was full, it all just looked like a sea of blue curtains split by an impossibly narrow hallway. i thought of the train scene from “some like it hot” and lamented the fact that a sassy walk and ukulele would get me absolutely nowhere here…

donna found her seat, #5, right away as it was by the door. it was a lower berth with a window. the upper berth above her was free, but one look at it (man, fuck that!) and i decided to go explore for another lower berth. the problem was that all of the curtains were drawn and it was pretty dark, so i basically had to go peeking in on people trying to find something empty. i made it to the end of the car with no luck and turned around—-when suddenly *overblown dignitary appears!* the train car filled with a few police, blocking my passage back to donna’s end of the car. i let the policeman on my end know i was looking for a seat–he basically let me know he didn’t care and i would have to wait for his highness to take a seat. the old man began his slow roll up the aisle and went into one of the set-of-four side berths with a few of his flunkies. i had to wait there while they *literaly tucked his old ass into bed* clean sheets and all, before the hallway cleared of police and i could make it back.

admitting my defeat, i hoisted my bags up into the impossibly-high-off-the-ground and impossibly small upper berth over donna. using some metal rungs and a few awkwardly placed bars and handles, i climbed up five feet and plopped into the bed. the ceiling was the low and sloping roof of the train, there was an a/c vent (yay!), there were hooks for bags and wall-mounted pouches for sundries, and wadded up at the end was a dirty set of sheets, a scarf, a pillow, and two empty plastic water bottles. hooray. thankfully the bed was wider than my backside. on my right were curtains for privacy and plastic coated chains supporting the berth and most likely preventing people from rolling out and falling to their sleeping deaths when the train careened around corners.

for the first few minutes, i sat quietly behind my drawn curtains, just waiting for an angry ticket holder to yank them open and exclaim that seat #6 was theirs!!! luckily, this never happened, and as the train lurched to life, i knew i was no longer in any risk of being kicked to general class seating (shudder) for the four and a half hour duration. i wadded the dirty bedding up at the foot of my bed, spread out the clean sheets that a passing train worker gave me, and tucked in for the trip. all in all it was pretty damned cozy, so long as you were laying down not sitting up. the train rocked me to a weird-dreamy sleep, and i was only awoken later to the feeling of my limbs beginning to freeze off because of the crazy cold a/c being pumped into my tiny compartment. given my experience so far in india though, i hardly minded a little freezing.

i woke up in the morning as the train came to a stop just outside of trivandrum. there was another train in the station, so we had to wait our turn. gave me just enough time to gather the nerve and logistical know-how needed to de-berth. i was definitely too high for a jump, and all of the other passengers were up and dressed, plugging away on computers and getting ready for their busy days, so there was no way i was going to cause that much of a scene. i sat behind my little curtain devising a plan, lest everyone see me eyeballing the distance and enthusiastically offer to help, as indian folk are wont to do. turned out to be pretty easy, and there was no neck-breaking involved—just a few well-placed steps on the bars of the berth across the way.

when we de-trained at trivandrum, we were picked up by donna’s cyclist friends. 7:30–plenty early for setting off at 9:30, right? except for these plans had gone the way of so many plans in india, and the rest of the bikers had set off early that morning and were already en route from trivandrum to varkala, so we spent the first part of the morning barreling down the winding roads of trivandrum and outlying areas in a mahindra jeep with four awesome indian guys, on the lookout for fellow cyclists.

there weren’t enough cycles for everyone, so the plan was to take turn cycling and riding in the car. i was a designated “support person” because if there’s one thing i know, it’s that i’m not going to relearn how to ride a bike on the winding and perilous roads of india. when we caught up with the cyclists, folks traded seats in the car for bikes and set off on the first leg of the journey. the area that we were in was a lot more rural than cochin, so the sights were new both to us and to the gawking and smiling onlookers. i suppose it was odd for a foreign woman to be riding in a car full of indian men, but man did i get the stares! kids smiled and yelled hello, men looked on, mouths agape, and women glared from under knit brows–about the same as in cochin.

at some point during our trip, we split up for a bit. i realized with only a small amount of trepidation that i was running the roads of a town i didn’t know, in a car with three men i didn’t know, without a cell phone. only donna knew where i was, and i had no idea where she was. (adventure!!) we stopped by a home where a european couple ran a school (bad time for a visit, lessons are happening right now, can you come back? sure. but we never did lol). we finally met up with donna and the other bikers near varkala beach, and we headed to the shore. at a beachfront junction full of sunburned and well-fleeced european tourists, we stopped for a celebratory coffee (it came in little paper mouthwash cups, but given the sugar content, a few ounces was all that was needed). everyone lit up cigarettes (really? cyclists?) and on complete impulse, i bought a small half-pack of djarum black clove cigarettes, a treat that i hadn’t had in a long time, and something i hadn’t expected to find here in india. it may take me a year to smoke all ten, but it’s nice to have–reminds me of living in england and sharing smokes with housemates.

next it was on to find us a hotel. the group of cyclists were amazingly kind to drive us (other members in tow behind on bikes) around the city looking for a place called kottil. after a few wrong turns (and one hilarious pedal-to-the-metal blast back up a winding road in reverse, soundtracked by the driver’s distinct and delightfully infectious laughter–thank god for empty roads) we found our spot. turns out, one of the cyclist knew the lady who owned the spot two doors down from kottil (a spot called “the first place” and, like so much beach property here, owned by a european lady) so we stayed there instead. there was a cute and friendly lab named jackie standing guard, and the place was a water-view paradise tucked into gardens of palms and papaya trees. from our deck we could see the sea on one side, and some water canals full of water buffalo and their ever-accompanying white cranes on the other. the beach was secluded and nearly devoid of tourists–the only sounds were the wind in the palms, the ever-present call of house crows, the yells of fishermen on the seashore bringing in their nets, and the occasional call to prayer in stereo (a loudspeaker in the distance on one side, and a man singing his prayers off the cliffs on the other). a little slice of heaven.

during our stay in varkala, donna and i enjoyed some room service, a well-deserved sleep-in (avec accompanying naps), much staring from the porch off into the beach waves, a little bit of shopping, some hard-found internet connectivity in an ayurvedic shop (huh?), and the best fish i’ve ever eaten. the fish took over an hour to cook once we ordered it, but the whole curry-licious, banana-leaf-wrapped snapper (head and all) was eaten with great relish on a beach table by the light of a flickering candle. totally worth the too-much-money we paid for it.

we also enjoyed a brick-oven-baked pizza from a place run by what looked like italian hippes. the italian fellow, a skinny, ponytailed man who was more charismatic than handsome (“hellllloooooo, ladies!!! tell me everything!”) was kind enough to let me use the toilet at the restaurant (public bathrooms are so hard to come by here that you’d think people don’t ever pee). there wasn’t actually a bathroom at the place, so he took me over to the rooms where the staff were living (broken-down dorms littered with luggage and sleeping bags) and pointed the way with a sheepish “sorry!” i think the sorry was in reference to the fact that there was neither toilet paper, nor a sprayer, nor a bucket and cup, nor running water of any kind outside of the toilet. i had to do the ol’ standing-butt-wiggle-drip-dry (thanks girl scouts!).

for our trip from varkala beach to trivandrum, we decided, since it was so short, to be super-brave and go for general class seating. it was tons cheaper than 2-tier a/c, and we decided we needed to at least say we’d done it once. so picture this: you’re in a train car that looks and feels more like it should be carrying cargo than people–bare gray metal walls patched in places (look out for that tree!!) and lined with row upon row of plain, flat bench seating in facing pairs with an aisle up the middle. along the sides of the ceiling, above iron-barred windows, there are luggage racks–on long hauls, these double as beds for the adventurous and desperate. mounted to the ceiling are row after row of black fans, their blades covered in metal cages to protect wayward arms and heads. about half of them work. in every pair of facing seats, made for 4-6 people, there are 8-10 people. every. single. inch. of standing room is occupied by bodies–standing, leaning, sitting. the doors of the train (when there are doors) are completely open. passengers, always men, pack the open area by the doors as well.

we were some of the last on the train–two pasty, out of place faces in a sea of cinnamon brown–and we stood, for the hour-long ride, packed shoulder to shoulder with the commuters of india. at least we were close enough to the doors to look out and enjoy the evening view of the coastal countryside as it flew by.

lest i think that this represented the most adventurous part of our journey, there was more excitement yet to come. the person who was supposed to pick us up at the station suddenly couldn’t. he was, however, able to make it there on his scooter to meet us and give us instructions. “all we had to do” was cross a million lanes of traffic to the bus stop, find the right bus, take it to a stop we didn’t know, then find an auto from the bus stop to our ultimate destination in trivandrum (more about that in a minute) that we also didn’t know.

i think our friend sensed the terror in my and donna’s eyes, because he decided to give us a scooter escort through the nighttime traffic (we were on foot hauling our bags behind him–he was parting the traffic for us) and put us on the right bus. of course he found the bus no problem, and threw us on right before it pulled out of the stop. he told the driver where we were getting off, said “BYE!!” and left. there we were on a rickety old open-windowed bus, the seat about 5 inches narrower than mine and donna’s combined behinds, in the middle of the night, barreling down roads (once again), and hoping that the driver or ticket man would have pity on us and very clearly indicate where we were to get off. we did find our stop, and i narrowly avoided a dramatic self-clotheslining as i hopped out of the bus door, which, as i had forgotten, was tied to the body of the bus with a rope for easier closing.

at the stop, we were picked up by the friend of the friend who we had arranged to stay with. his name was anil, and he and his wife run a center called “chila” (which means a protective, shady tree branch) where the children of sex workers can live, be taken care of, and go to school. chila is wonderful because, unlike other facilities that can care for these children, it does not require parents to give up custody of their children. parents stay involved, but the center makes sure they have food, shelter, medicine, an education, and counseling so that they can be confident in themselves.

here are some of the highlights of our stay:

we were regaled with songs and dances on the front porch our first night there. everyone, from the littlest (4) to the biggest (19) participated. this is on film somewhere, and it’s absolutely precious.

the younger kids, who are amazing students and very gifted in two written and spoken languages thanks to chila’s care for their education, set up a mock school for donna and i. we had to learn the malayalam alphabet (letter names and written characters) and be prepared to show it in front of “class”….such smart kids!

we enjoyed sharing meals with the group. donna and i sat at a table, and the kids sat in two straight rows in the floor, with their newspaper placemats and tin dishes. they all handled the set up and clean-up seamlessly and totally without complaint. can’t imagine that going over so well in the US.

we were escorted down a jagged rocky path to a knee-deep stream where everyone bathes in the mornings. looked like it would be the most magical place to a kid, and the water was clean and cool.

the house only had an indian style toilet with bucket and cup, and despite my resignation that i would finally have to use one, my innards rebelled and i didn’t poop for two days lol. oh well.

the oldest resident of chila served as our guide to trivandrum when we ventured out into the city. the things that we wanted to see were closed the first day (yay, monday) so we took a day trip to the prettiest beach i think i’ve ever seen. we went to a resort to get some coffee (very hard to find good coffee outside of kochi!) and had to wait for the doorman to shoo away a persistent baboon before we could come in the door.

on a rainy evening, music started to pour down the hill from a local temple. the kids’ eyes lit up, and they jumped up and drug donna and me up the hill in the downpour for a visit. since we’re not hindu, one of them stopped at the house on top of the hill to ask the priest’s wife if it was ok that we went inside. she said yes, and we were welcomed into the little neighborhood temple in the pouring rain. the priest led us over to the main building–a little square structure with a door that opens to another door inside. the inner door had been opened, exposing the holy of holies, which contained an ornately adorned statue of lord krishna, gold accents glittering in the light of dozens of by candles and dancing behind curls of incense smoke. we stood in front of the little door, hands clasped by our hearts, gazing in at god, and the priest came by and gave us all a smile and a handful of leaves and herbal paste. our escort from chila stuck her finger in the paste and marked our foreheads. the best kinds of blessings.

(more to be added soon–i just need to get this blog posted and am writing after way after the fact:) )

we left chila on tuesday morning and headed for the train station. our ride back was interesting (of course) because we couldn’t get tickets. the guy at the window told us that the 2-tier a/c car was sold out and that we should get general class tickets (AAAHHH!!!) and then just go sit in the 2-tier car hoping for an upgrade. sounds like the beginning of a nightmare, right?

it actually wasn’t so bad. i did sit in one guy’s seat (he asked me to move despite the car being otherwise empty at that point) but donna and i finally found lower berths to perch in for the duration. the ttc had to shuffle us around to different seats as people came and went, but all in all, the ride was relaxing and nice.

now back to real life (and real coffee!) here in kochi!

to be continued…